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kokboon7's journal
Sometimes when im down. All i hope is to hear a familiar voice telling me, dear its okay, im here for you. Its your voice that i yearn to hear again. Even a simple text will be fine.
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Hello Baobei,
Its 17th again. By right. Its our half a year. But then, i didnt have the courage to text you this time round. I guess you've been getting used to life without me. Im trying hard too, really hard. Just that i still miss you often. Images of us flashing through my mind, everywhere we went before and of course the happy times we once shared together. Because you completed me, for sure, during that short period we got together.
I didnt forget the days when im in australia. We will keep texting everyday. I will try my best to sneak out of class, finding wifi to whatsapp you. What kept me looking forward was your phone call. Looking forward to hearing your voice, telling me you are fine, updating me about your life. Kept me smiling throughout. Not wanting to put down the phone. Because i really miss you so badly.
Still remember our first facetime chat that night that last for nearly 2 hours. We didnt talk much, but we kept staring at each other on the phone. And smiling like a silly couple. Giggling at the other end, not wanting to sleep even though i had camp and you had school the next morning. Seeing you hugging our little panda so tight and sleeping together with it, telling me my smell in on the panda, you having my jacket just beside. It meant so much to me. Because i really felt appreciated and love. Thank you.
The days i stayed over at your place. You never failed to on aircon because you know i sweat super easily. Hugging you to sleep was the most loving thing. I once told you, hugging you and my pillow is different because you contain love. You smiled. And turn away. Waking up in the morning and not wanting to wake each other up. Lying beside and look at each other in the eyes. Going for breakfast together, slacking at your place, while you do your work, i read books, or watch tv. Getting out for lunch, evening strolls and everything. Still remembered you telling me, we are like husband and wife hor! And you saying that, waking up with me beside, is like a dream. I told you if this is a dream, i dont want to wake up forever. You smile and turned away.
Still remember the first time that you said that you love me. I blush. You love pinching my face, tickling me till i beg for mercy, looking into my eyes, complaining im more vain than you. Saying that i keep looking into the mirror.
My birthday this year, you gave me a really memorable one. You gave me a pair of shades that cost 90% of your intern pay. Leaving you to eat grass for the rest of the month. Knowing that i will surely get bored spent it alone in australia, we chatted on the phone for 3 hours. You were sending me birthday wishes all over every form of media. Be it, facebook, sms, whatsapp. Everything. I felt it, i really did. Although it might not mean much to alot of people. But it sure meant the world to me. Its was like giving me warmth in the cold weather in Australia.
I didnt keep my promise. I said i wanted to provide for you, get through pilot course, marry you over once im financially stable, fetching you everyday through and flow for work. All these, i can never make it come true anymore.
All these while. I didnt forget you. Even i didnt text you. Its not that i dont want to. I just fear that you find me irritating and in disturbing you. But i still check your facebook frequently, your whatsapp and stuffs. Hoping to get news that you are doing well and you're fine. All these memories are mine to keep, something that still freshly inked on my mind till now. Something that others will never take it away from me.
I just want to say, i really miss you alot alot. And i really love you.
If you remember 17062011.
From kokboon.
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I dreamt of you for the past 2 days. I wonder if it's our telepathy working again. I dream that things arent going well for you. I really hope things are doing great on your side. Yup, you never know the existence of this blog, neither what I wrote here everything for you. I may not talk to you anymore or text you first but that doesn't mean I love you no more.
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People say, the way to forget someone is by destroying the roots. We started off from
Whatsapp and Facebook. So i guess i should start deleting off these 2 application on my phone?
You know what? Our story is like "那些年我们一起追的女孩" nearly getting together yet we didnt. The girl ended with someone else. Its just that i didnt have the 肚量 of the guy. I dunno how to be. Im sorry.
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Got alot of things kept in my heart wanting to tell you. But i didnt have to courage to. Because i scare, afraid that you arent interested.
I miss you tickling me till i beg for mercy.
I miss you winking your eye lashes on my face.
I miss the little talks we share before we fell asleep.
I miss having you falling asleep on my shoulder when we are out.
I miss looking at you quietly when you are sleeping.
I miss laughing over silly things with you.
I miss you saying that im more vain than a girl.
I miss the little strolls we took in the evening.
I miss sharing food with you.
I miss having happy meals just with you.
I miss you being here for me when im down.
I miss you always trying means to disturb
Me infront of your mummy.
I miss going for icecream treats with you.
I miss chatting everything under the sun with you.
I miss calling you baobei.
Just want to say, all these i said, it doesnt shows how much i miss you and how much to meant to me.
Would you even know all these i wrote here? ):
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"Sorry. Its me again. Sorry for bring this up at this point of time when your exams are coming. Reading the text we exchanged. Quite affected how we used to have endless things to chat, keep chats alive with random topic to now, a few words reply. Im sorry girl, im really not used to it.
Saw your facebook status. Greatly affected by it too. Im sorry again. Yup, you already made it clear to me. You done your part. By staying away to keep me not falling in again. 可是我的心好不争气. I still miss you alot, i still love you very much. Everything i do, reminds me of you. Dont know how to just forget everything like that.
I dunno how to act as if nothing as happen again. If there's someone new in your heart. I dunno how to smile and say its okay, all the best to you and him. I cant do it girl. Im sorry.
Sorry for being so random in the middle of the night for bringing this up. Because i really really miss badly. Im really afraid to see and hear things now. Im sorry really really sorry.
Sorry for disturbing your rest. Good night. "
Ponder for a long time if i should send you this. I miss you, really really badly.
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There were times when i need you the most. I texted you. But i didnt have the courage to tell you how i feel. I miss you baobei. ):
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I miss you. But i dunno how i should let you know. ): been nearly 2 months since i met you. I miss you dearly.
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